| REALITY
SHOWS ARE STUPID
I'm sick and tired of reality
shows. I have never seen one that did anything for me other than
make me want to kill the people on said reality shows. Where do they
get these people, anyway? Whatever. Here are some reality
shows from the past year. I'll include what the
stupid people on Yahoo message boards thought of the show. Here they
are in a random order:
Who's Your Daddy?
Synopsis:
Who cares? I saw most of this show last night for some
reason, and if anything's responsible for what you're reading now, it's
this. This is a show about some stupid, annoying, uninteresting
bitch that's sort of good looking named TJ (gay) and her pointless quest
to find out who her real father is. This show is also hosted by the
same lady that hosts just about every other reality show ever. She has an
accent that doesn't sound like it's from any particular country, so I'm guessing it's
fake. Look at her:
She doesn't even look like a real
person. But, yeah, she's kind of hot. Anyway, TJ was adopted
and apparently she always wanted to find her real dad. I guess the
adopted one pissed her off or something, because they never mentioned the
foster parents (as in "the parents the raised her and paid for college so
she could get her business degree in bullshit"). Producers from FOX
tracked down this girl's dad and hired a bunch of goon actors to play
fake dads and the entire show consisted of TJ crying constantly and
repeatedly describing things as "awesome". She's about 30. At
that point, why would you even care all that much? Anyway, after watching old men
dance and tell stupid stories about Vietnam and how her mom was hot in
high school, she picked her real dad. He was a douche. Then,
her real mom comes out. They showed pictures of her when she was a slutty cheerleader in the 70's and she was hot. Well, she must've
spent the last 30+ years as a raging crack whore because she brings new
meaning to the cliche "50 miles of bad road." Jesus she was ugly.
How the show should've went: I thought it was
stupid that this girl was adopted. It should've been about a girl
whose mom was a total whore and never met her father because it could've
been about 50 different dudes. And she should've had to wager food
stamps when picking which random dude she thought was her dad.
|
What the Stupids Thought:
After
the show, I did a general web search on the show to find out more.
The show touched my heart so much I wanted to get in touch with
someone and say how excited I was for T.J. to finally get to meet
her Birth parents. I never knew that my search would end up finding
all these mad people. I say the show was very heart felt and I will
be watching it again. I like this type of show because I like to see
people happy. It was just the same as watching Home Delivery. People
being reunited is the best story ever.
-
kjkisinger |
What I Think of the Stupids' Comments:
People being complete pussies while having their hearts touched by
reality TV is the most hilariously pathetic story ever. This
tool probably bakes heart-shaped pink cookies every waking second
of every day. |
The Biggest Loser
Synopsis:
A bunch of fatties go on a diet, start exercising, and televise their
bitching. I've seen parts of this before, and I don't know whether
to feel bad for these people or laugh my ass off at them. Guess
which one I did? I mean, they're on a show called THE BIGGEST LOSER
for fuck's sake. How is that not hilarious? Anyway, there's
this one whiny bitch that has a panic attack every time she moves any muscle
that isn't required for eating or complaining. Maybe it's just me, but
obesity and panic attacks go together just as well as obesity and Old
Country Buffet. It's not a panic attack, tubbs; it's your
heart beating a little faster because you just walked up half a flight of
stairs and didn't get a reward made of pudding.
Apparently they vote each other off
the show for some reason or something, and it seems like they will always
vote off the person that loses the most weight out of jealously instead of
voting off the ones the cry and bitch and have the most panic attacks.
Maybe their arteries are already clogged and the cholesterol has been
landing in their brains.
How the show should've went: Here is what I
think: all these people are locked in a battle arena, and
every day, the producers drop in food in care packages, but here's the
catch: every day, there's enough food for all but one person. In
order to find out which person doesn't get to eat, everyone decides which
one person they want to kill. Then the survivors begin their feeding
frenzy.
Then, no more food for anyone for a week to make sure they're all good and
hungry to prepare them for another fight to the death the following week.
Last person alive is the winner, and their prize is a pile of fatty
corpses that they get to devour.
|
What the Stupids Thought:
Hi friends!
My best bud and I are unsure about what was said on an episode and
hope that you all can help!! When Gillian showed her "before"
picture on the "clips" show, did she say, she had LOST 150 pounds or
that she weighed 150 pounds on her before picture?
Thanks for your help!
-
yumamorgans |
What I Think of the Stupids' Comments:
I'm not your fucking friend. How come you couldn't hear what
Tubby Gillian said? My guess is because you're too fat, and
the fat has grown over your ears essentially making you deaf.
Or, maybe you just can't hear the TV over the sound of yourself
chewing. |
My Big Fat
Obnoxious Fiancé
Synopsis:
FOX finds the stupidest fucking bitch on the planet and has a fat
commercial actor pretend to be an asshole in order to make her cry and
make her family disown her. Classic FOX. I didn't
watch this show, but a lot of other retards did and that pisses me off.
Basically the guy just fucked with Randi (the stupidest bitch on the
planet) to make her parents hate her. What FOX didn't realize is
that the family already hated Randi because she's a stupid whore. If
she wasn't a whore, why was she marrying some random dude for a million
dollars? She's a mail-order bride and not from some third world
country, and
that's crazy talk.
At the end of the show, her family
disowned her and it was all for nothing because the guy told her he was an
actor and she was a stupid, gullible twat for buying into his act.
How the show
should've went: There weren't any dwarf-tossing family challenges.
Also, Randi's father should've been so pissed that he locked her in the
basement for the rest of her life and would only open the door to throw
raw meat at her when it was feeding time. Also, the actor should
have been a woman dressed like a man with three eyes and a robotic arm
that launched baked potatoes.
|
What the Stupids
Thought:
I like
to have some more info about Randi's siblings. Do they have their
own website, what sports are they in, etc. anywhere I can find this
info or someone knows this?
- lovemartialarts |
What I Think of the Stupids' Comments:
How can a guy named "lovemartialarts" be such a phenomenal
pussy? Seriously, this douche is interested in what sports the
siblings of the stupidest bitch alive play. Either he's the
worst stalker ever, or he's learning about these people in order to
hunt them for sport. I'm hoping on the latter, but I'm not
holding my breath (because I need air to live). |
The Rebel
Billionaire
Synopsis:
Richard Branson, CEO of Virgin, has lost what little bit of sanity he has
and is giving away his job to a bunch of retards with too many
chromosomes. Whoever jumps out of the most planes while wearing a
meat suit, wrestling a rabid crocodile on a unicycle, into a volcano
filled with mutant sharks while it's raining sulfur and acid gets the job.
It's subtitled "Branson's Quest for the Best." The best what?
Bungee Jumper? Glass Eater? Asshole? Get the fuck out of
here.
This show is seriously fucking
retarded. Branson obviously wants his Virgin legacy to crash into
the mountain as soon as possible. Maybe that's only insane thing
left to do. I'm sorry, but being the craziest, dumbest fuck alive
shouldn't qualify you for a job running a billion dollar corporation.
I give Virgin about a year to survive after the winner of this whore-fest
takes over.
How the show
should've went: Branson should let me run Virgin. Then I'll
take over the world and rule you all with my iron fist.
Maybe they could have added stunts like "Playing in Traffic" and "Sulfuric
Acid Chug". I'd watch that show.
|
What the Stupids
Thought:
I was wondering what everyone of you think
about the Victoria Falls stunt that turns out not be a stunt but a
good valuable lesson.
My opinion it was a good lesson of not following the "guru" blindly,
don't be afraid to ask question, but most important of all, do not
hesitate to refuse to do something that you believe is way too
dangerous or against the law.
I think Sir Richard Branson made the right choice to leave Sam
behind. He was the one who simply didn't question this insane stunt
whereas Nicole did and took a chance to be eliminated by refusing to
go through with it. However, I would say I feel Nicole's gloating
did lower her chances of getting Branson's job.
- kyleplee2 |
What I Think of the Stupids' Comments:
Here's what I think about the Victoria Falls stunt: who cares?
Why do you people watch this shit? It's garbage, no
one needs it, and I'm sick of reality shows clogging up my TV.
You morons make reality shows popular by watching them in a zombified stupor and then get
actually good shows like Arrested Development
cancelled. Fuck you people.
Oh, and who thinks "don't
be afraid to ask question, but most important of all, do not
hesitate to refuse to do something that you believe is way too
dangerous or against the law"
is a valuable lesson? All it teaches people is how to be bigger pussies, and no one needs help with that. |
The Swan
Synopsis:
FOX takes a bunch of hideously ugly women, gets them plastic
surgery, and then puts them in a beauty pageant. First of all,
everyone hates beauty pageants. Yeah the girls are hot, but no one's
going to watch them strive for world peace with apple pies and juggling
poodles while tap-dancing.
Do you know who is constantly on
the verge of suicide? The guy that has to pick the ugliest girls out
of 100's of ugly girls for the show. He's either on a ledge ready to
jump right now or in his basement gazing in admiration at his human
pancreas
collection saying, "Ah, yes. YES! My work is almost complete!
Soon EVERYONE shall know my greatness! Mwa ha ha haaa..."
Another thing with this show is that every girl's face winds up looking
exactly the same after the surgery. It's fucking creepy. No
one needs to look exactly like someone else. Also, the whole "no
mirrors for three months" thing is kind of stupid. Sure, they may
not know what their faces look like, but they can still look down and see
how big their tits got, and those are the only parts of a woman that guys really look at
anyway.
How the show
should've went: Fuck making the girls more attractive. If
they're going to go as far as loads of plastic surgery, I say why stop
there? Do hideous genetic experiments on the women, like splicing
their DNA with animal DNA. Then after they're all healed up, they
could fight to the death in a tournament of doom.
|
What the Stupids
Thought:
I want
Kari or Marsha to win... Erica looks like a porn
star/prostitute and the rest look like post-op trannies, which is
actually an improvment, shockingly enough!
The funny thing is that this is a the most popular makeover show
among poeple 18-40, & my yahoo club has more members... & I look bad
enough to be on the show myself :/
The thought of being on The Swan (or extreme makeover) sounds
tempting... but surgery scares me. & I would hate talking about my
flaws & weird, embarassing health problems galore on national
television knowing that people I used to know will be watching...
but why should I care what they think
-
whiteporcelaindoll |
What I Think of the Stupids' Comments:
Nice spelling, you're obviously an idiot. And if you're not
going to come out looking like a porn star, what's the point of
plastic surgery? And then this bitch starts bragging about how
her Yahoo group on this crappy, crappy show is more popular.
Hey, bitch - who cares? Nerdiest pissing contest ever.
Later in her post, she started
spewing lots of completely inane bullshit since no one pays
attention to her in real life. Here's some of that nonsense: "After
I watch The Swan, I usually like to eat a sandwich. Bologna
sandwiches are my favorite, but last night I had to have a cheese
sandwich because my dumb mom didn't go food shopping yet. I
hate my parents, and that's what makes me cool!!!1 That's why
so many people are in my Yahoo group - it's because I'm real
cool-like. Anyway, after my sandwich, I usually fall asleep.
I like sleep because sleep is good for you. I'm trying to
sleep lots and lots now, for beauty sleep, but it isn't working.
I am really ugly and want to do plastic surgery stuff but I'm scared
because I have issues with pointy things. My mom won't let me
hold anything pointy unless I'm wearing my helmet! Oh, but I
can't talk about my embarassing [sic]
health problems galore on national television (which is like
regular television only it's a country and the president of
television country is my kitty cat Mr. Scuzzlebunny), like how I
have to shit in a pan and wrap my poop in a bag and give it to
scientists for tests on why I have green skin, or about the scar on
my face from where my dead sister I were separated last week.
I can talk about it just fine on the internet though, because you
are all my bestest friends ever. You're all much more helpful
than the stuffed animals that were my best friends before I got a
computer. My computer has stickers of cartoon puppies all over
it! I like puppies a lot!" It went on and on
like that for 20 pages. |
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