Some limey British woman named Susan Boyle was on a British talent show recently where she sang a song from a musical beloved by people who hate actual music.  Ever since that happened, people all over TV and the internet won't shut the fuck up about her.  She has a decent enough singing voice and sang a song on a TV show in England.  Quick, show of hands, who fucking cares?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?

Here is what I know about the woman:

1. She looks like a fat version of Beaker from the Muppets.
   

2. No one heard of her before she was on that stupid show, and probably for a reason.
3. No one has tapped that fine ass yet.

The moronic tabloid shows seem to have taken it upon themselves to help this woman get laid.  No word yet on whether they're paying the poor sap who's up for the task.  I hope that guy has at least had his shots, for his sake.

The front page of Yahoo seems to have some blurb about this woman every day.  There has never been a more obvious sign that one's 15 minutes of fame are nearly up than seeing yourself on Yahoo's front page next to pictures of Disney Channel prostitots and instructions for spotting the 7 signs of your man's infidelity.  Enjoy the rest of your life in obscurity, Susan Boyle. A month from now, the sheep out there will be abuzz with some new homely karaoke singer with whom they can waste their time and my patience.

Seriously, I have to ask this again.  Does anyone really give a shit about this woman?  I find it hard to believe, but she's getting so much attention for no reason that it leads me to think there are people that actually care that some frumpy British Muppet sang a song on TV and it wasn't as terrible as people thought it would be (relatively speaking, of course).  She sang a song.  It's not like she cured cancer or is hot.  So really. Who is in the Susan Boyle fan club?  Raise your meaty paws and bang those oversized heads against the keyboard and shoot me an email.  I'd honestly like to know.

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